JOHNNA                          MICHAEL RYAN                             JULIE      

JOHN                JEANETTE           Events          CONTACT THEM

 I tried 


Michael Ryan misses his mark. The singing (big eared) nun. What's up with Julie?

Ok, I think I have it now!  OK, it's Friday night 7-9 and I do believe you will find the videos of an acceptable quality now. You won't have to mess with your volume control, balance or any of that.

UPDATE UPDATE....9:56 7-7 pm Don't worry Fee-air-o ate. I got it...I think...no, I did. I fingured it out. It was the cable. Yea, sure...

Also, I removed the version 9 video recorder and re-installed v7.

Here is the good Johnna video and here is  and a little Julie bit and finally the goodbye (it's a big one)

Read the long story here first.......then watch the above videos. You may appreciate them more.

See the bad video below.

I tried to get this going. I tried. Getting the Sound of Music Video on line. I remember last time how easy I had made it. What the he-- happened?

After 7 trips under the desk to find the right holes in the back of the computer to plug in the video camera's sound and video cables I realized that I had removed the expansion card for the video camera and plugged it into my other computer. Ok, so I shut down both computers (start, shutdown all that good stuff) pulled the card out and placed it into the video computer. The control center. The command and control center. Start up both computers and make another trip under the desk to find out that the reason I removed the card from the video computer was that I didn't need it any more to record videos. I had started using another little hole on the back of the computer to plug the camera into instead.

Good. A little waste of time never hurt anyone. I started up the Microsoft video recording software and recorded the Johnna song from sound of music. I should have stopped right there and copied the video file to the Internet but NOOOOOOO I had the bright idea of making the file better...smaller....faster loading.....yea! Optimization!!

I made a browser trip to Microsoft to find out if there was an upgrade to the video recording software. I finally found the upgrade after searching around microsoft.com since they changed the whole entire web site structure.  Great, this should improve things.

I was running on version 7 and they had released version 9. Gotta be better. Gotta be. I downloaded it and installed it. Perfect. I spent about 47 minutes familiarizing myself with the new features...new bit rate (wooooo!!), improved DRMprotection (whatever that means but it sounded like an improvement. Gotta be.), and the new video optimization I figured were unsurpassed, had to be much better than old version 7.

After that I had to spend another 97 minutes getting the proper balance between the video and audio out (that's tech talk!) The software does that by itself but I needed to set my own balance 'cause I'm BETTER at that than the computer software.

Then, while I was at it, I figured I may as well install the new version of MemTURBO on this video computer 'cause MemTURBO makes a computer run a lot FASTER by giving it more space to work and computers like that. Especially a video capturing computer. About 17 minutes for that.

Ok, I finally got around to making my first video! Whaaaa? When I play it back it seems a little faster than it did coming out of the camera. Maybe I should'a rebooted after I installed everything. Ok, reboot. Gotta wait for the reboot. Microsoft Windows computers take a while longer to reboot than most other computers 'cause they do so much complex and meaningful stuff for the user they have to set themselves up properly so YOU and ME the end user don't have to do all that. So, I waited the FULL 37 minutes to reboot.

37 minutes later. This time I delete all the other video files I made even the good regular speed ones 'cause I knew that the new version  of the video recorder would record the video MUCH better than the old version 7.

I deleted all the files and made a whole new file. In the cooking business they call this, "Starting from scratch." Even though I am not in the cooking bidness (that's a joke. Instead of typing business I typed bidness) that's what I did, made a new file.

Started recording again and...OUCH!!??? computer crashed! The old Blue Screen Of Death (the acronym looks like this: BSOD) you never wanna see the BSOD that's not good. I didn't even have time to quickly write down the little numbers on the BSOD screen cause I was busy getting Kleenex to wipe away the tears. Not the tears of sadness but of laughter. I thought it was funny. By the way the little numbers and stuff on a real BSOD look like this:

Dear jerk: Your computer just crashed. That's why your screen is totally BLUE!

But for your convenience following is the important useless user-friendly (heh,heh) information you can use to fix the problem (heh,heh). We put the following text in white (Bill Gate's wife had that idea) so it contrasts well with the totally BLUE screen and you'll be able to read this totally useless information and get as little out of it as we did creating it (heh,heh. We're like that) Anyway, here it is:

ERROR ERROR: 3x0000334s (4x000044e,4ffdssssr, fffiddidos,jjeoiwklkls, you're screwed, don't call bill gates either he's on his 400 foot yacht,heh,heh,heh) NOTE: We show ERROR twice 'cause there's a strong possibility that there may be more than one (heh,heh).

No, seriously, we feel your pain. All of us at MicroSuck Corp.  suggest you don't even try to fix your computer. But if you're willing to pay us $5,000 and the gold watch from your retirement to fix it for you we will try (no guarantees) but we know you won't 'cause we know that YOU know that we don't know what that stuff means either. The white text does look nice against that BLUE SCREEN though doesn't it? Bill's wife designed that (already said that but contractually we have to mention her name in our documentation).Don't call us, we'll call you when we want to sell you something else!!

So sucker, in closing:

Get lost,

MicroSuck Corporation 

Anyway I rebooted and so far it's ok. I tried and tried and tried and...well here's the video:

Here's the video




Hey looky here...just like the big boys....

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About the Author: John Cesta
cesta family dot com
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